雅思考試備考7.5分雅思作文剖析

雅思考試備考：7.5分雅思作文剖析，很多同學(xué)對(duì)于這個(gè)問(wèn)題有疑問(wèn)和不解，那么下面就跟著中國(guó)教育在線的小編詳細(xì)了解一下吧。

Band 7.5

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type ofcrime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, andthe motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account whendeciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your ownopinion.

Fixing punishments for each type of crime has been a debatable issue. Thereare many arguments supporting both views, those for and those against fixedpunishments.

On the one hand, fixed punishments will have a deterring effect on society.Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment if theyare convicted with a given crime, will reconsider committing this act in thefirst place. This deterring effect also leads to social stability and security,through minimizing the number of crime committed. If people knew they would beable to convince the court or the jury of a reason for having committed thecrime they are accused of, penal decisions would be largely arbitrary. Thiswould result into criminals getting away with their crimes and into a high levelof injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts.

On the other hand, taking the circumstances of a crime and its motivationinto consideration is a prerequisite for establishing and ensuring justice andequity. A person killing in self-defense cannot be compared to a serial killer,moving from one victim to the next.

In my opinion and intermediary position between both solutions is theperfect way to establish and ensure justice and equity. There have to be fixedpunishments for all crimes. however, criminal laws have to provide for a minimumand a maximum for the punishment and the laws also have to foresee certain casesof exemptions. An example for setting minimum and maximum penalties isCompletion Law where a person being held liable of a crime under this law willbe convicted to pay a fine, according to the harm caused by the violation andthe profit gained by the violator through committing the crime.As for theexemptions, in some countries the law exempts thiefs stealing food during aperiod of famine taking into consideration the distress and hunger. Also aperson killing in self-defense will be exempted from punishment.

這篇7.5分的雅思寫作例文可以說(shuō)各方面都做的還不錯(cuò)，但是在paraphrase這一點(diǎn)仍有失誤，作者應(yīng)該把penalty早早提到文章的前面替換掉一些頻繁出現(xiàn)的punishment,同時(shí)應(yīng)該多收集點(diǎn)其它的詞，如：castigation, penalization, discipline等。但是他關(guān)于收集犯罪類的詞匯上顯然homework做的比較足，所以用了很多專業(yè)的詞匯：

jury 陪審團(tuán); penal 刑事的; arbitrary 武斷的;injustice 不公正; subjective approach主觀的方法; prerequisite 前提; self-defense 正當(dāng)防衛(wèi); serial killer 連環(huán)殺手; exemption 豁免;liable 應(yīng)負(fù)法律責(zé)任的; convict 定罪; violation 違背。

從語(yǔ)法上來(lái)看，這篇essay 除使用了定語(yǔ)從句外，還有大量的分詞短語(yǔ)作定語(yǔ)，如：

Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment ifthey are convicted with a given crime, will reconsider committing this act inthe first place. (現(xiàn)在分詞)

A person killing in self-defense cannot be compared to a serial killer,moving from one victim to the next. (現(xiàn)在分詞)

according to the harm caused by the violation and the profit gained by theviolator through committing the crime. (過(guò)去分詞)

被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)也有展現(xiàn)：

a person being held liable of a crime under this law will be convicted topay a fine.

這兩個(gè)語(yǔ)法點(diǎn)都被囊括在了幾個(gè)寫作高分語(yǔ)法點(diǎn)中，所以同學(xué)在掌握好了以上六條建議之后應(yīng)該在這些寫作高分語(yǔ)法句型上花些精力和時(shí)間，以助自己的高分夢(mèng)想早日實(shí)現(xiàn)。

最后強(qiáng)調(diào)下，寫作時(shí)論證一定要全面，尤其是對(duì)于雙觀點(diǎn)的題型。 更是要掌握好兩方論證的順序和篇幅分配，最后在總結(jié)時(shí)要注意是否和正文思路吻合。

總之，以上的7.5分雅思寫作范文在語(yǔ)法、詞匯上都錯(cuò)的很不錯(cuò)，唯一的小瑕疵就是有些詞匯過(guò)渡重復(fù)使用，而且整體的句式運(yùn)用相當(dāng)?shù)呢S富，這都是以上這篇7.5分雅思寫作范文的優(yōu)勢(shì)處。

以上就是“雅思考試備考：7.5分雅思作文剖析”的全部?jī)?nèi)容了，希望小編整理的資料能幫助到考生。如果想要了解更多相關(guān)資訊，歡迎關(guān)注外語(yǔ)頻道，為您提供更多精彩內(nèi)容。

>> 雅思 托福 免費(fèi)課程學(xué)習(xí)，AI量身規(guī)劃讓英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)不再困難<<